at speed, racing zero
by MedusaOfTheSpecies
Summary: Ted and Andromeda face a miscarriage, but they have each other. They will get through this.


Written for Amethyst (Write about the before and after effects of a couple/single person going through the pains of a miscarriage), Gobstones (purple stone, (emotion) calm, (song) song) "Only You" by Yazoo, (emotion) frustrated), Around the World (Ukraine - Dialogue: "Ultimately, it depends on you."), and Showtime (Chromaggia - (situation) Letting go of something).

 **o.O.o**

Ted Tonks entered the dark and gloomy cautiously, taking great care to not accidentally flick the light switch or trip over the furniture.

On the bed, Andromeda Tonks was huddled in on herself, her normal tame mane of black hair a wild mess, limply hanging down her back.

Ted loved his wife's hair, but most importantly, what it represented: Andromeda Black, neat hair and neater clothes, choosing him over everything.

"Andy," he whispered, stroking her back comfortingly. Andromeda didn't answer, but she leaned into his touch.

They sat like that in silence and darkness for a while. Andromeda's breathing was unsteady and irregular and his own felt like a slap in the face. He had done this. He had hurt his wife like this.

"I can feel you blaming yourself already, you know," Andromeda said suddenly, shifting over to look at him. It was too dark to see her eyes, but he felt the familiar tingle of electricity as her knee bumped into his.

Ted grabbed his wife's hand, pressing it between both of his in an attempt to remain calm. "It is my fault, Andy, I was the one who wanted a child and now you're in pain—"

"Shut up, Ted," Andromeda said and he could predict the familiar way she rolled her eyes. "It's no one's fault but mine."

"How on earth is having a miscarriage your fault?" Ted said softly.

Andromeda sighed, withdrawing her hand from his. "I'm a Black. It's the generations of inbreeding—my mother had several miscarriages too."

"Did she really?" Ted asked in shock. Druella Black (nee Rosier) seemed infallible, not like the kind of person for whom things could go wrong. Then again, Andromeda seemed the same way, but they were both in the same position.

Andromeda nodded, shifting around, and Ted felt the bed move under her. It was tragic, the way the darkness reminded her of home. Most people preferred their demons in broad daylight, but Andromeda Black was familiar with darkness, the way it weaved its way under your bones, settling around your heart like a predator ready to strike.

"Andy?" Ted asked hesitantly. He knew his wife preferred to be alone when she was in those kind of moods, but he couldn't let her suffer alone.

"Yes?"

Ted took a deep breath. His question could change so much, could fix the holes in both their hearts or shatter it beyond belief.

"If you can't have a child...we can adopt."

Andromeda shot up, and Ted could feel her wariness even without being able to see her face. She opened her mouth and promptly closed it.

"I am capable of childbirth," Andromeda said stiffly, "I had one miscarriage."

Ted flushed, hurriedly grabbing his wife's arm. "No! No, Andy—you know me, I wouldn't say that, I just meant… well—"

"Spit it out already," Andromeda said coldly and Ted's blood froze at the chilliness in her tone. He should have known better: his wife may no longer be a Black, but she always had her pride.

"I want to have a child with you, Andy," Ted said slowly, trying to convince his wife of his genuineness. "But I won't sacrifice you for it. The doctors said we could try one more time, but after that? Adoption… well, I'm not sure how big it is in the Wizarding world, but Muggles do it all the time!"

Andromeda was silent. Ted wondered if she was speechless, but didn't push her. She'd speak when she was ready.

"They wouldn't have your blood," she pointed out eventually, when the silence had stretched so long Ted had become nervous.

"Doesn't matter." Ted hugged his wife, bringer her closer, and Andromeda leaned her head on his shoulder. "They will be ours regardless, and ultimately, it depends on you. Andy, it's your choice."

Andromeda kissed his cheek. "Well, if you're sure."

"I'm sure." Ted's grin was so big it seemed to split his face. "We try once again, and if that doesn't work we adopt. Either way—"

"—as long as we're together," Andromeda finished.


End file.
